So today was a bit disastrous: queue emotional breakdown and pass the tissues!
Weeks of pre-deadline weird sleeping patterns, an even weirder diet (we’re talking lots and lots of cookies, ice cream, peanut butter sandwiches at midnight, and on one occassion an entire block of blue cheese…)oh and having LITERALLY NO SOCIAL LIFE finally caught up with me. The catalyst of my breakdown today being my cat getting badly injured in a fight at some time in the wee hours of the morning.
Now I’m usually pretty stoic and my fur-baby is not mortally wounded (although I am now really worried for my sanity if anything really serious were to happen to the little bugger) but for some reason his little terrified face and inability to walk properly really tipped me over the edge! My boyfriend told me I should still go to work but on the way there and twice while I was there I found myself uncontrollably sobbing (and we are talking a mere 2 hour shift here). Stress seems to hit in the most predictable of ways and yet there is absolutely nothing I seem to be able to do to lessen the effects! I knew this period of crazy time was coming, I was prepared WELL in advance, and yet here I am eating entire blocks of blue cheese in a mad snacking fit and then going to the gym for 2 hours to compensate. Cooking elaborate meals one night and resenting my partner (who did not ask or expect a massive meal) the whole time I’m doing it and then skipping dinner the next night…I can SEE the patterns but don’t seem to be able to actually put a stop to them.
The weirdest thing; I am actually quite fine with my workload and seem to be well on track for hand in! Sure I’ve skipped out on lots of social things in the last few weeks to spend extra time getting my designs done (I’m supposed to be at bookclub as I type!) but I feel like I’ve been pretty consistent – so why do I still get the crazies real bad?! I am starting to realise that it is just a part of the way I work – if I wasn’t crazy stressed at this point in time about getting my work in or my stupid cat getting hammered by the big badass black cat across the road every time he goes outside then I would probably find something else to stress out about!
Anyway, now I’ve had my cry I can move on – I finished another 3 paper swatches today while I was on cat-care duties and while Kitteh will definitely live to fight another battle I will go on to hand this next Milestone in on Thursday afternoon and move on to the next stupid thing to melt down over!